Margaret Amerongen, M.S.W., RSW
Toronto, 416 920-4545
Family Therapy for Adults
Adults who are troubled by conflicted relationships with family members or estrangement from them may conclude that it is too late to do anything about it.
On the contrary, adult family members can draw on mature developmental capacities that were not available to them as children. Adults tend to have greater insight, resolution and independent decision making than they had when they were young. Adults are capable of appreciating the irreplaceable value of enduring family support and loyalty. These capacities give them a renewed chance to address family conflicts in family therapy.
Parents, adult sons and daughters, siblings, stepparents and stepsiblings or other involved relatives can constructively be included in family therapy together, separately, or in any combination that is helpful.
Family problems for adults may include
Unresolved conflicts between parents and adult children rooted in problems that started when the children were young
The aftermath of trauma
Loyalty conflicts related to long ago divorces
Sibling rivalry
Current stresses such as illness, care of aging parents and mental health problems
Conflicts about money or other family resources
Estrangement and mistrust among family members
How family therapy helps
Margaret focuses first on helping each family member to feel understood and accepted so they feel safe to participate. As they build this sense of safety, together Margaret and family members seek the source of the conflict or estrangement.
Both past and present factors are explored. Anger and retaliation come to be understood as rooted in vulnerable feelings such as hurt, sadness and fear. Conflicts come to be understood as efforts to protect oneself and to get needs met by each other.
Communication is improved as family members are supported to express vulnerable feeling instead of anger and to explain intentions and desires for better relationships. Margaret guides family members to avoid hurtful interactions and to increase those that repair past injuries and facilitate good will and warmth.
